<aside> ā ļø TL;DR If you don't have time for relationships, you don't have time for co-design. As Jade Lillie, with Kate Larsen, Cara Kirkwood and Jax Jacki Brown have titled their excellent book "the Relationship is the project."
Prioritising relationships is a key principle for co-design and must happen throughout the co-design process. Co-design requires significant investment in building trust. That trust usually starts between the support team and co-designers ā over cups of tea and through conversations**.**
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Relationships help to create an environment where people can soften their armour, feel safe and be honest. Relationships become increasingly important throughout the co-design process as we challenge and are challenged by each other. To support relationships, creating opportunities for peer support often helps people with lived experience to feel safe, be seen and share support.
Partner with, donāt parent co-designers
Peopleās contributions come in many different packages. They are helped not by our judgement but through our love and our interest (see Saleebey, 2006). Itās common to see people trying to co-design with young people, for example, and trying to change them. They want them to ābehaveā and ābe normalā. In co-design, peopleās honest contributions are more important than false politeness or formality.
Slow down and get to know people with lived experience over cups of tea and quiet conversations at places where theyāre comfortable. Build trust before broaching difficult topics. Understand peopleās identities, strengths, triggers, expectations and any barriers they might face to participating. Here are some questions you could ask co-designers with lived experience:
Ask people in advance what safe would look and feel like, should it be true.